12 Feb Inner Truth
Today I was talking to a friend about how we can express our spiritual life in everyday business. There is this widely spread idea about doing something with it, now that I woke up to my true nature, now that I know (better), I need to change everything about my tiny life to become sth else. And yes, it´s not always easy to differentiate between this ego-driven thinking and a real heart-driven wish to share what I experienced because I want to share the bliss and freedom of it.
What comes in her is a little story I want to share with you. As a participant on a retreat many years ago I heard a yound woman anwering the teachers question why she would really want to experience awakening. She said, because I want to be a teacher myself and sit there like you, doing this work.
In my experience she is not the only one with this image inside, this wish to explore the depths of spirituality until you are finally fit to be a spiritual teacher. But is this really what it is about? Truth is, you can easily share your inner stillness every minute of a day with everyone who comes along, you don´t need to do the teachers job in a retreat space. You can be completely present and connected when you meet your husband in the morning, the waitress in the cafe around the corner, the people at work and on the train, the teacher of your kid. Stillness doesn´t divide life into parts worth sharing bliss and other parts that you want to get rid of. Then you are hooked on a thought that causes seperation.
You could ask yourself sincerely: What is it that I am rejecting here exactly? What am I avoiding? Is there anything that causes me fear/anger/shame/pain beneath it?
Once you investigate your rejection, your judgement, openly and honestly, you could simply meet the feeling involved. Be with it, feel it, make yourself aquainted with it. Take responsibility for it. Then you will have a lot more space inside to embrace all parts of your life and let your awakened truth of being express itself it´s own unique way. An artist might find a very different expression of his or her inner truth than a farmer who is deeply in touch with nature around. The waitress in the cafe might serve the most delicious coffee because she loves what she is doing. A teacher might be a real present person for her students to trust in and orient to.
So, to me the real questions are: How is the expression of your inner truth happening in your life? How does it feel when you are connected deep within and in touch with the world?